Taking back my life

Yep, that's right, you heard me... I AM TAKING BACK MY LIFE!!!

Over the years I have allowed myself to be controlled by others. That's what I get for having a good heart and wanting to make others happy. The problem is that my happiness, my goals, my wants, my desires didn't mean much to most people. And wouldn't you know it, everyone else seemed to tell me what it was that I wanted despite me telling them 'no, I want this or that'. Or my favorite was and still is, "you don't know what you want." Psshhh... I do, but no one listens.

So over the years, I got into some bad habits; mostly as a distraction or a way of coping with an unhappy life. Aside from my smoking habit, which won't end anytime soon, I fell into the trap of emotional eating. This lead me down the road from a size 0 to a size 18. I yo-yo dieted and tried just about everything and yet nothing fully worked. Looking in the mirror every day at what I had become didn't do much for the ole self esteem. Of course, as a former skinny girl, I still for the most part had a mental picture of me being thin. Then the reality check came when I looked in the mirror and realized that I am fat and don't even recognize myself anymore. So in most cases, I gave up and just tried to find a way to just deal with it.

But then I went to the doctor. Trace amounts of vitamin D and other deficiencies. The doctor said that these deficiencies were actually preventing me from losing the weight. That and the fact that I knew I had a gluten sensitivity but still continued to eat foods high in gluten didn't help.

Even still, as I try to get back on track and reinvent myself, I was overwhelmed by all of the different health hypes. Eat this, don't eat that. Do this, don't do that. And then another "health" diet contradicts another. UGH!!! So here is what I have decided to do. I am going to make more healthy choices but not worry with the calorie counting and such. I will journal when I can about my overall journey with the intent of tracking what works for me and what doesn't. I personally think that people are not some cookie cutter mold and not one "diet" plan works for all. So I am eliminating the stress of sticking to a strict diet formulated by someone else and will focus on what works for me.

As of now, my intent with MY "diet" is mostly a raw foods diet of fruits and vegetables. However, I will be cooking from time to time and I will still be eating eggs. Plus, I will be adding one serving of fish a week to my diet. Will it work? Not sure at this time, but for now I have been gluten free for 3 days and as I start my new diet, I feel SOOOO much better. My joint pain has lessened tremendously. My energy levels are up. My mood is better, too. Life is good. Life has hope again.